Being in Love

Have you ever been in love? I have a few times. Each time feels different and more intense. I will say that right now im so in love that every decision i make is based on how its going to affect Rah. There isn't a ME... everything is WE and US. Right from the start we just clicked. It is like finding a ying to your yang. We recognize our imperfections and say that we are imperfectly perfect for one another. We compromise instead of settling. We communicate instead of talking. Just reading this you can tell this is not your ordinary relationship.

The thought of being away from him sometimes is a pain in my heart. Neither one of us like to be away from the other at all. Even when we go to work we miss one another like crazy. I wake up to him everyday and even that sometimes isn't enough. Recognizing the extent of our love made us make some big decisions early on in our relationship that most wouldn't dare to make. Some things will stay private but believe me they work for us. It involves honesty and a system in place that totally obliterates the need to lie, cheat, or hide things. When people say what you won't do someone else is more than willing to do please believe it! You can act all self righteous telling that man what you won't do and he WILL find someone else to do it. I made a decision to give this man whatever he wants and asks of me and he does the same for me. To just type or say I love you won;t even describe the feelings I have.

I have freedom in this relationship because a relationship should NOT be jail. Put boundaries on that man or woman and human nature will make them want to break those boundaries. When they break the boundaries come the lies and the secrets. Those and sometimes some SINGLE friends are a cancer for your relationship. I can openly flirt with someone on twitter and not have to worry about coming home to a loaded gun. Flirting is healthy for any relationship. The ONLY person that gets my blood going is Rah. Everyone knows this especially him. It is a compliment to have people want to dance on him at the club. Why do some people put handcuffs and chains on their mate? Give them freedom and do what is asked of you and you wont have to worry about them searching for someone else to fill a need. HELLO!?!? BE the everything that made this person choose you in the first place and the trust and confidence will follow.

I have been in a relationship before where I didnt like the nigga attitude, looks, ways, NOTHING. I didn't like anything about this muthafucka but I did everything in my power to keep him around. So its refreshing to look at my baby getting dressed and be in awe of his beauty. The shot of heat that runs through my body when he smiles at me sometimes. It is the best feeling to go to a club and feel like you have the best looking person in the club on your arm. Its like someone put him together and sent him to me because he can handle my mood swings and crazy ways. We even say we love the things that we should hate about one another. Things that aggravate me are the things i miss when he is gone. If that isnt being in love then I don't know what is.

I could go on and on. All I know is the thought of being in the life without Raheem is not an options. I can and will go on without him if I have to because I know me very well without him. I just happen to love me with him. He is my support system and best friend. We talk about everything even when we are not saying anything. I think his emotions are all in his eyes. My friends say they can tell by the way he looks at me that he is in love. Sometimes we have conversations about our love and we end up in tears. Thats how I know its real. I think that my baby is the most handsome, smart, intelligent, caring, loving person out there and he feels that same about me. I can't describe how good it feels to have him.

I think in the end thats what real love is all about. It doesn't have rules, formulas, or can even be described. Following books and what you see on the television will set you up for failure. Find someone that makes you happy and create your own rules. Keep your relationship fresh by changing things up. We have our own ways of doing that *evil smile*.

Train Wreck Relationship

We all have that friend. Yes I said it.. THAT friend. You know what i'm talking about! The one that you see when they are mad with their boy/girlfriend. When things are going good in that relationship you have to send the FBI to find them. Have you always been there when the relationship ended (for the 100th time)listening to the crying and false sense of independence. How many times do you sit there and listen to them before you just say "BITCH PLEASE"?

Its like a cycle. They get mad at the person, break up with them, hoard all your time, then drop you when the deadbeat comes back around. Do they not see how this would make you feel? You are the good friend thats always there and you feel used. Lets not forget to mention how this person has NO friends at all and its mostly due to the boyfriend or girlfriend that you hate. I'm really at the point where I want to shake the hell out of someone. Like seriously smack their face and say wake the fuck up he don't want you!
If I say that I run the risk of being alienated and blamed. When people are in a bad relationship they dont really want you to tell them the truth. So you just nod your head and listen. "I would rather be unhappy and with you than be unhappy without you". That quote pretty much sums it all up I think. It is a sickness to settle for someone you dont even really wana be with. Whats worse is when they don't want to be with you and you KNOW it yet you don't even care. Letting them cheat on you and you turn the other cheek because you don't want to be alone. I can't deal with the emotional roller coaster of wanting better for people who don't even want better for themselves. Im so pissed off I can't even finish writing this. WAKE THE FUCK UP! Ok I feel better.

Sexual or Emotional Compatibility. Which is more important?

Don't you think this is a topic that would pit men against woman? The general consensus is that women are more emotional and men are more sexual. This topic needs to be tailored for this generation. How would this work in a gay or lesbian relationship? SOMEONE is gona be more sexually driven than the other. So do we throw out the implication that women are more emotional and men sexual when it comes to the gay and lesbian community and their unions. What if everything emotionally is perfect in the relationship but one person is bored and unsatisfied sexually?

People say that a relationship is about more than sex. Ask yourself this... would you stay with a man if his sex was whack? I mean you have found someone who has everything that you want but the sex is whack?! Would your love really make you stay? All signs point to NOT! I know Iw ouldnt because I would be forced to cheat on you and im not a Cheater. This also brings me to the next age old conversational piece. If your partner isnt giving you what you need sexually are they basically inviting you to look for satisfaction elsewhere?

I believe that WHATEVER you wont do somebody else is ALWAYS willing to do. If you allow the sex to leave your relationship then you are inviting your partner to leave as well. I know I would throw up the dueces in a minute! I will talk to you, beg you, try all kinds of things to get you to give me what im asking for and if you choose to ignore it I wont wait around unhappy! Life is too damn short. So to the people getting cheated on and you didnt do everything you could to stop it..Yes its YOUR fault.

I took a different approach in my new relationship. We are honest with one another no matter how much it may hurt. That way you dont feel the need to run to someone else to vent ur frustrations. Also if you wana have sex with someone else its ok to voice that! We are young and human... the whole idea of being with ONE person for the rest of your life is scary. I mean honestly Fidelity and Monogomy are fairy tales created by novels and television. That shit exists right along with fairies and unicorns. These are my thoughts....what are yours?