Tipping isnt just a place in China

I love that little sign that you see when you leave some restaurants. It speaks to me and to others I think they see it as just another little known fact posted for randoms to see on the way out of eateries. I have worked in food service and i must say that without a doubt black people are the WORST people to serve. Now I wont say ALL black people but 95% of them... yup I said it. Let me give you all a little insight on the food service or restaurant business.

Yes we know exactly where we were gonna seat you as soon as you walked in the door. I would never seat a table of blacks with our best servers who of course get the really good tipping tables. They are just gonna run our best server crazy by changing the menu around, splitting the tab when there are 50 people at the table, and then only a few of them will tip and the rest will leave enough tip to even out the bill. For example if one persons bill is 19.80 they would leave .20 in the tipping section to make it an even $20.00. Lets not forget how they eat half the food then complain to get something free or the whole meal comped. The only way the seating is messed up is that table of black women that always want to sit everywhere but where the fuck you sat them in the first place. Its like you know the persona's when they walk in the door. The richest black person still wont tip. They have the nastiest attitudes with the staff and literally get up from the table and don't leave a thing but dirty dishes.

Then we all have that one friend that causes the most trouble in a restaurant knowing damn well they didn't have money to go with you in the first place. They justify not tipping because of "bad service" when really the staff was wonderful its just their ass causing trouble. I look at the bills when my friends are signing the receipts and it kills me that they don't know how to tip sometimes. Like leave 10%, 15%, or 20% if you really liked them. These people make $2.00 an hour and I'm sure lots of them have kids or are in school somewhere just like you. I always leave good tips because I know the stigma that's put on me from the time I walk into the place. Being the charming person that I am I like to flirt and have fun with them. I have seen the brokest niggas go into a eatery and ACT like they were worth a million bucks and I hate to say that some of them are my friends. I have even put a few extra dollars down on the table just to compensate for the lack of home training some of them have had in the past.

In conclusion lets all learn how to tip or stay ya broke ass home. Don't take ya broke ass to another place with your black skin making mine look bad. the minimum is 10% and 20% or more if you have had a good time. This money goes to the valet staff, the servers, AND the hostess stand. So when you get up with good conscience and don't leave a dime you are hurting those youngsters working hard to make something of themselves. If you have had bad service then I completely understand not leaving anything. Everything I have said is on the grounds that you have been given good service. This message brought to you by BFT aka Blacks For Tipping. P.S.. yes the white people know how to Tip. The End.....

Say What U Mean Cuz I Do!

I have a bit of an issue lately with people on Facebook. I seem to have this reputation for saying whatever is on my mind no matter what it is. Truth be told I DON'T say a whole lot. My main thing is if I didn't mention your ass don't fuckin respond or read it! I never try to intentionally hurt anyones feelings. Now if what I said in anyway struck you the wrong way its because you are guilty of whatever I was talking about. It's my Twitter and my facebook. The beauty of both applications is that you can choose not to follow me on both or have you forgotten.

I'm not crazy and just walkin around saying whatever is on my mind however comma but I do say the shit that you wont say but thought about. If my posts in anyway insult or upset someone that I love and care about they can contact me and let me know. I will apologize for hurting them as it was not my intention however comma BUT I will not retract my statement. To do so is like me lying to you. Smurf is gonna always give it to you no sugar coating or lube because I want you to rest assured that I wont tell no bullshit. I don't go around criticizing people or talking down to them or about them. I dont get off on making fun of people. I simply make observations and sometimes I tweet as I think. Yes there are times where I wish I didnt say it out loud but why take it back? Its there on the table now its up to you to muthafuckin deal with it and decide if you wana dedicate minutes of your life to being upset about it.

There was the tweet about how I hate when people wana pledge AKA and they look like Zetas. LMAO ok thats a New Orleans light skinned is better ignorant thing to say so I shouldnt have said that. BUT.... (wait for it)..... I got lots of replies from Sigmas and Zetas.. yeah they were not pretty. So in the end I figured I was right and I moved on and the Gargamels of the BluPhi nation slowly crawled back to the bumblefuck sway back country towns where they are relevant. Enough on that I think i'm done.

To conclude I will always say crazy things. Im not trying to make anyone laugh it just happens. I give an open window into my mind. Like Erykah Badu I want a window seat with nobody next to me. So I dont NEED approval to the things I say. That is all.
*KanyeShrug* - Smurf

Im about to EXPLODE!

People always ask me why I call myself Smurf. Well im 5'6 and as a kid my room was decorated with Smurfs and it was my favorite cartoon. Now when they ask what Smurl would I be I always have trouble because im a mix of a few of them. I could be Lazy Smurf, Dreamy Smurf, Vanity or Grouchy Smurf, but most of all Snappy Smurf lol. So mix all of those together and you have me. I do have my evil side though. Like I wonder if Chinese people are on the planet because God hates cats? (via @iHuntMidgets)

When I have a lot of time to think I really come up with some really good answers to my own questions. Like I ask myself things. I say "Self?"... Myself says "Huh?". I figure I will always tell me what I wana hear so we are the best of friends. With this blog I would like to take on some relationship topics as well as many things I dont agree with. I would hope that anyone reading would respect these posts as MY opinion which can be changed with the right amount of facts. Anway thats all for now. I look forward to enlightening lives as well as pissing some people off.

*KanyeShrug* - Smurf