Have you ever been in love? I have a few times. Each time feels different and more intense. I will say that right now im so in love that every decision i make is based on how its going to affect Rah. There isn't a ME... everything is WE and US. Right from the start we just clicked. It is like finding a ying to your yang. We recognize our imperfections and say that we are imperfectly perfect for one another. We compromise instead of settling. We communicate instead of talking. Just reading this you can tell this is not your ordinary relationship.
The thought of being away from him sometimes is a pain in my heart. Neither one of us like to be away from the other at all. Even when we go to work we miss one another like crazy. I wake up to him everyday and even that sometimes isn't enough. Recognizing the extent of our love made us make some big decisions early on in our relationship that most wouldn't dare to make. Some things will stay private but believe me they work for us. It involves honesty and a system in place that totally obliterates the need to lie, cheat, or hide things. When people say what you won't do someone else is more than willing to do please believe it! You can act all self righteous telling that man what you won't do and he WILL find someone else to do it. I made a decision to give this man whatever he wants and asks of me and he does the same for me. To just type or say I love you won;t even describe the feelings I have.
I have freedom in this relationship because a relationship should NOT be jail. Put boundaries on that man or woman and human nature will make them want to break those boundaries. When they break the boundaries come the lies and the secrets. Those and sometimes some SINGLE friends are a cancer for your relationship. I can openly flirt with someone on twitter and not have to worry about coming home to a loaded gun. Flirting is healthy for any relationship. The ONLY person that gets my blood going is Rah. Everyone knows this especially him. It is a compliment to have people want to dance on him at the club. Why do some people put handcuffs and chains on their mate? Give them freedom and do what is asked of you and you wont have to worry about them searching for someone else to fill a need. HELLO!?!? BE the everything that made this person choose you in the first place and the trust and confidence will follow.
I have been in a relationship before where I didnt like the nigga attitude, looks, ways, NOTHING. I didn't like anything about this muthafucka but I did everything in my power to keep him around. So its refreshing to look at my baby getting dressed and be in awe of his beauty. The shot of heat that runs through my body when he smiles at me sometimes. It is the best feeling to go to a club and feel like you have the best looking person in the club on your arm. Its like someone put him together and sent him to me because he can handle my mood swings and crazy ways. We even say we love the things that we should hate about one another. Things that aggravate me are the things i miss when he is gone. If that isnt being in love then I don't know what is.
I could go on and on. All I know is the thought of being in the life without Raheem is not an options. I can and will go on without him if I have to because I know me very well without him. I just happen to love me with him. He is my support system and best friend. We talk about everything even when we are not saying anything. I think his emotions are all in his eyes. My friends say they can tell by the way he looks at me that he is in love. Sometimes we have conversations about our love and we end up in tears. Thats how I know its real. I think that my baby is the most handsome, smart, intelligent, caring, loving person out there and he feels that same about me. I can't describe how good it feels to have him.
I think in the end thats what real love is all about. It doesn't have rules, formulas, or can even be described. Following books and what you see on the television will set you up for failure. Find someone that makes you happy and create your own rules. Keep your relationship fresh by changing things up. We have our own ways of doing that *evil smile*.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Train Wreck Relationship
We all have that friend. Yes I said it.. THAT friend. You know what i'm talking about! The one that you see when they are mad with their boy/girlfriend. When things are going good in that relationship you have to send the FBI to find them. Have you always been there when the relationship ended (for the 100th time)listening to the crying and false sense of independence. How many times do you sit there and listen to them before you just say "BITCH PLEASE"?
Its like a cycle. They get mad at the person, break up with them, hoard all your time, then drop you when the deadbeat comes back around. Do they not see how this would make you feel? You are the good friend thats always there and you feel used. Lets not forget to mention how this person has NO friends at all and its mostly due to the boyfriend or girlfriend that you hate. I'm really at the point where I want to shake the hell out of someone. Like seriously smack their face and say wake the fuck up he don't want you!
If I say that I run the risk of being alienated and blamed. When people are in a bad relationship they dont really want you to tell them the truth. So you just nod your head and listen. "I would rather be unhappy and with you than be unhappy without you". That quote pretty much sums it all up I think. It is a sickness to settle for someone you dont even really wana be with. Whats worse is when they don't want to be with you and you KNOW it yet you don't even care. Letting them cheat on you and you turn the other cheek because you don't want to be alone. I can't deal with the emotional roller coaster of wanting better for people who don't even want better for themselves. Im so pissed off I can't even finish writing this. WAKE THE FUCK UP! Ok I feel better.
Its like a cycle. They get mad at the person, break up with them, hoard all your time, then drop you when the deadbeat comes back around. Do they not see how this would make you feel? You are the good friend thats always there and you feel used. Lets not forget to mention how this person has NO friends at all and its mostly due to the boyfriend or girlfriend that you hate. I'm really at the point where I want to shake the hell out of someone. Like seriously smack their face and say wake the fuck up he don't want you!
If I say that I run the risk of being alienated and blamed. When people are in a bad relationship they dont really want you to tell them the truth. So you just nod your head and listen. "I would rather be unhappy and with you than be unhappy without you". That quote pretty much sums it all up I think. It is a sickness to settle for someone you dont even really wana be with. Whats worse is when they don't want to be with you and you KNOW it yet you don't even care. Letting them cheat on you and you turn the other cheek because you don't want to be alone. I can't deal with the emotional roller coaster of wanting better for people who don't even want better for themselves. Im so pissed off I can't even finish writing this. WAKE THE FUCK UP! Ok I feel better.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tipping isnt just a place in China
I love that little sign that you see when you leave some restaurants. It speaks to me and to others I think they see it as just another little known fact posted for randoms to see on the way out of eateries. I have worked in food service and i must say that without a doubt black people are the WORST people to serve. Now I wont say ALL black people but 95% of them... yup I said it. Let me give you all a little insight on the food service or restaurant business.
Yes we know exactly where we were gonna seat you as soon as you walked in the door. I would never seat a table of blacks with our best servers who of course get the really good tipping tables. They are just gonna run our best server crazy by changing the menu around, splitting the tab when there are 50 people at the table, and then only a few of them will tip and the rest will leave enough tip to even out the bill. For example if one persons bill is 19.80 they would leave .20 in the tipping section to make it an even $20.00. Lets not forget how they eat half the food then complain to get something free or the whole meal comped. The only way the seating is messed up is that table of black women that always want to sit everywhere but where the fuck you sat them in the first place. Its like you know the persona's when they walk in the door. The richest black person still wont tip. They have the nastiest attitudes with the staff and literally get up from the table and don't leave a thing but dirty dishes.
Then we all have that one friend that causes the most trouble in a restaurant knowing damn well they didn't have money to go with you in the first place. They justify not tipping because of "bad service" when really the staff was wonderful its just their ass causing trouble. I look at the bills when my friends are signing the receipts and it kills me that they don't know how to tip sometimes. Like leave 10%, 15%, or 20% if you really liked them. These people make $2.00 an hour and I'm sure lots of them have kids or are in school somewhere just like you. I always leave good tips because I know the stigma that's put on me from the time I walk into the place. Being the charming person that I am I like to flirt and have fun with them. I have seen the brokest niggas go into a eatery and ACT like they were worth a million bucks and I hate to say that some of them are my friends. I have even put a few extra dollars down on the table just to compensate for the lack of home training some of them have had in the past.
In conclusion lets all learn how to tip or stay ya broke ass home. Don't take ya broke ass to another place with your black skin making mine look bad. the minimum is 10% and 20% or more if you have had a good time. This money goes to the valet staff, the servers, AND the hostess stand. So when you get up with good conscience and don't leave a dime you are hurting those youngsters working hard to make something of themselves. If you have had bad service then I completely understand not leaving anything. Everything I have said is on the grounds that you have been given good service. This message brought to you by BFT aka Blacks For Tipping. P.S.. yes the white people know how to Tip. The End.....
Yes we know exactly where we were gonna seat you as soon as you walked in the door. I would never seat a table of blacks with our best servers who of course get the really good tipping tables. They are just gonna run our best server crazy by changing the menu around, splitting the tab when there are 50 people at the table, and then only a few of them will tip and the rest will leave enough tip to even out the bill. For example if one persons bill is 19.80 they would leave .20 in the tipping section to make it an even $20.00. Lets not forget how they eat half the food then complain to get something free or the whole meal comped. The only way the seating is messed up is that table of black women that always want to sit everywhere but where the fuck you sat them in the first place. Its like you know the persona's when they walk in the door. The richest black person still wont tip. They have the nastiest attitudes with the staff and literally get up from the table and don't leave a thing but dirty dishes.
Then we all have that one friend that causes the most trouble in a restaurant knowing damn well they didn't have money to go with you in the first place. They justify not tipping because of "bad service" when really the staff was wonderful its just their ass causing trouble. I look at the bills when my friends are signing the receipts and it kills me that they don't know how to tip sometimes. Like leave 10%, 15%, or 20% if you really liked them. These people make $2.00 an hour and I'm sure lots of them have kids or are in school somewhere just like you. I always leave good tips because I know the stigma that's put on me from the time I walk into the place. Being the charming person that I am I like to flirt and have fun with them. I have seen the brokest niggas go into a eatery and ACT like they were worth a million bucks and I hate to say that some of them are my friends. I have even put a few extra dollars down on the table just to compensate for the lack of home training some of them have had in the past.
In conclusion lets all learn how to tip or stay ya broke ass home. Don't take ya broke ass to another place with your black skin making mine look bad. the minimum is 10% and 20% or more if you have had a good time. This money goes to the valet staff, the servers, AND the hostess stand. So when you get up with good conscience and don't leave a dime you are hurting those youngsters working hard to make something of themselves. If you have had bad service then I completely understand not leaving anything. Everything I have said is on the grounds that you have been given good service. This message brought to you by BFT aka Blacks For Tipping. P.S.. yes the white people know how to Tip. The End.....
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Say What U Mean Cuz I Do!
I have a bit of an issue lately with people on Facebook. I seem to have this reputation for saying whatever is on my mind no matter what it is. Truth be told I DON'T say a whole lot. My main thing is if I didn't mention your ass don't fuckin respond or read it! I never try to intentionally hurt anyones feelings. Now if what I said in anyway struck you the wrong way its because you are guilty of whatever I was talking about. It's my Twitter and my facebook. The beauty of both applications is that you can choose not to follow me on both or have you forgotten.
I'm not crazy and just walkin around saying whatever is on my mind however comma but I do say the shit that you wont say but thought about. If my posts in anyway insult or upset someone that I love and care about they can contact me and let me know. I will apologize for hurting them as it was not my intention however comma BUT I will not retract my statement. To do so is like me lying to you. Smurf is gonna always give it to you no sugar coating or lube because I want you to rest assured that I wont tell no bullshit. I don't go around criticizing people or talking down to them or about them. I dont get off on making fun of people. I simply make observations and sometimes I tweet as I think. Yes there are times where I wish I didnt say it out loud but why take it back? Its there on the table now its up to you to muthafuckin deal with it and decide if you wana dedicate minutes of your life to being upset about it.
There was the tweet about how I hate when people wana pledge AKA and they look like Zetas. LMAO ok thats a New Orleans light skinned is better ignorant thing to say so I shouldnt have said that. BUT.... (wait for it)..... I got lots of replies from Sigmas and Zetas.. yeah they were not pretty. So in the end I figured I was right and I moved on and the Gargamels of the BluPhi nation slowly crawled back to the bumblefuck sway back country towns where they are relevant. Enough on that I think i'm done.
To conclude I will always say crazy things. Im not trying to make anyone laugh it just happens. I give an open window into my mind. Like Erykah Badu I want a window seat with nobody next to me. So I dont NEED approval to the things I say. That is all.
*KanyeShrug* - Smurf
I'm not crazy and just walkin around saying whatever is on my mind however comma but I do say the shit that you wont say but thought about. If my posts in anyway insult or upset someone that I love and care about they can contact me and let me know. I will apologize for hurting them as it was not my intention however comma BUT I will not retract my statement. To do so is like me lying to you. Smurf is gonna always give it to you no sugar coating or lube because I want you to rest assured that I wont tell no bullshit. I don't go around criticizing people or talking down to them or about them. I dont get off on making fun of people. I simply make observations and sometimes I tweet as I think. Yes there are times where I wish I didnt say it out loud but why take it back? Its there on the table now its up to you to muthafuckin deal with it and decide if you wana dedicate minutes of your life to being upset about it.
There was the tweet about how I hate when people wana pledge AKA and they look like Zetas. LMAO ok thats a New Orleans light skinned is better ignorant thing to say so I shouldnt have said that. BUT.... (wait for it)..... I got lots of replies from Sigmas and Zetas.. yeah they were not pretty. So in the end I figured I was right and I moved on and the Gargamels of the BluPhi nation slowly crawled back to the bumblefuck sway back country towns where they are relevant. Enough on that I think i'm done.
To conclude I will always say crazy things. Im not trying to make anyone laugh it just happens. I give an open window into my mind. Like Erykah Badu I want a window seat with nobody next to me. So I dont NEED approval to the things I say. That is all.
*KanyeShrug* - Smurf
Sexual or Emotional Compatibility. Which is more important?
Don't you think this is a topic that would pit men against woman? The general consensus is that women are more emotional and men are more sexual. This topic needs to be tailored for this generation. How would this work in a gay or lesbian relationship? SOMEONE is gona be more sexually driven than the other. So do we throw out the implication that women are more emotional and men sexual when it comes to the gay and lesbian community and their unions. What if everything emotionally is perfect in the relationship but one person is bored and unsatisfied sexually?
People say that a relationship is about more than sex. Ask yourself this... would you stay with a man if his sex was whack? I mean you have found someone who has everything that you want but the sex is whack?! Would your love really make you stay? All signs point to NOT! I know Iw ouldnt because I would be forced to cheat on you and im not a Cheater. This also brings me to the next age old conversational piece. If your partner isnt giving you what you need sexually are they basically inviting you to look for satisfaction elsewhere?
I believe that WHATEVER you wont do somebody else is ALWAYS willing to do. If you allow the sex to leave your relationship then you are inviting your partner to leave as well. I know I would throw up the dueces in a minute! I will talk to you, beg you, try all kinds of things to get you to give me what im asking for and if you choose to ignore it I wont wait around unhappy! Life is too damn short. So to the people getting cheated on and you didnt do everything you could to stop it..Yes its YOUR fault.
I took a different approach in my new relationship. We are honest with one another no matter how much it may hurt. That way you dont feel the need to run to someone else to vent ur frustrations. Also if you wana have sex with someone else its ok to voice that! We are young and human... the whole idea of being with ONE person for the rest of your life is scary. I mean honestly Fidelity and Monogomy are fairy tales created by novels and television. That shit exists right along with fairies and unicorns. These are my thoughts....what are yours?
People say that a relationship is about more than sex. Ask yourself this... would you stay with a man if his sex was whack? I mean you have found someone who has everything that you want but the sex is whack?! Would your love really make you stay? All signs point to NOT! I know Iw ouldnt because I would be forced to cheat on you and im not a Cheater. This also brings me to the next age old conversational piece. If your partner isnt giving you what you need sexually are they basically inviting you to look for satisfaction elsewhere?
I believe that WHATEVER you wont do somebody else is ALWAYS willing to do. If you allow the sex to leave your relationship then you are inviting your partner to leave as well. I know I would throw up the dueces in a minute! I will talk to you, beg you, try all kinds of things to get you to give me what im asking for and if you choose to ignore it I wont wait around unhappy! Life is too damn short. So to the people getting cheated on and you didnt do everything you could to stop it..Yes its YOUR fault.
I took a different approach in my new relationship. We are honest with one another no matter how much it may hurt. That way you dont feel the need to run to someone else to vent ur frustrations. Also if you wana have sex with someone else its ok to voice that! We are young and human... the whole idea of being with ONE person for the rest of your life is scary. I mean honestly Fidelity and Monogomy are fairy tales created by novels and television. That shit exists right along with fairies and unicorns. These are my thoughts....what are yours?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Friends or foes? Recognizing some signs. .
Have you ever had a friend that you told them really good and exciting news but they somehow found a way to see the negative in it? Did you notice the fake smile and the even more fake "ohh thats good but.....". These are usually easy to spot because the sit in the shadows or get quiet while you give the 411 to all of your other friends. I think you know who I mean. Yep its THAT person....the one ur thinking of RIGHT this moment. Matter of fact..just close ur eyes and dress that person in GREEN head to toe in your head.
I have had a few of these, and even been that person a few times. In my experience it meant that you were and ASSOCIATE of mine and not my friend. It is important to know the difference in the two because everyone is not your friend. Friends will genuinely be happy, wanting to know every detail and also stating that they are proud of you. The person will begin hacking away at your happiness but concentrating on possible cons if there are any. An unhappy person will find flaws in paradise trust me. The other sign of the jealous bug is the subliminal comments and looks. THIS is an associate.
What about the time you were having a conversation with everyone and that person took a quick stab at you. They WANT to know that you read between the lines so they will look your way right afterward OR repeat the shit. Now if they repeat it I invite you to go IN on that ass cuz that's just asking for it. Its like ok im about to start talking about that ONE thing that you covet and its your way of letting be know "shut the fuck up about YOU happiness because im NOT happy!" My example of this would be my almost perfect (yes i said it) relationship. Why would you be so upset that its going so well if you were my friend. This is an associate.
Another example would be the "fair weather" friends. They are around as long as things are going well but when you need a hand they are busy or "I didnt get that text." Sidebar: That why i love blackberry messenger. You cant tell me you didnt get that text when I see the little R right next to it LOL. Anyway, I will do anything for my friends. I have been in a really bad place at one point in my life with NO help. I have given to some of these people when I didnt have it to give. Yet, in my time of need they were nowhere to be found and full of excuses. Its like looking around and hearing the cricket sound..*cricket...*cricket. These are associates.
Now I promised myself i wouldnt use exact examples because I would normally just go to the person instead of blogging the ordeal for everyone to grab popcorn and quench a thirst. So I wont! I will leave you with this. TRUE friends grow with you, you outgrow all the others. So thank them and keep it moving. Regardless of what ill that person has wished on you or caused you. They gave you a life lesson that will enable you to recognize their type in the future.
*Kanyeshrug* - Smurf
I have had a few of these, and even been that person a few times. In my experience it meant that you were and ASSOCIATE of mine and not my friend. It is important to know the difference in the two because everyone is not your friend. Friends will genuinely be happy, wanting to know every detail and also stating that they are proud of you. The person will begin hacking away at your happiness but concentrating on possible cons if there are any. An unhappy person will find flaws in paradise trust me. The other sign of the jealous bug is the subliminal comments and looks. THIS is an associate.
What about the time you were having a conversation with everyone and that person took a quick stab at you. They WANT to know that you read between the lines so they will look your way right afterward OR repeat the shit. Now if they repeat it I invite you to go IN on that ass cuz that's just asking for it. Its like ok im about to start talking about that ONE thing that you covet and its your way of letting be know "shut the fuck up about YOU happiness because im NOT happy!" My example of this would be my almost perfect (yes i said it) relationship. Why would you be so upset that its going so well if you were my friend. This is an associate.
Another example would be the "fair weather" friends. They are around as long as things are going well but when you need a hand they are busy or "I didnt get that text." Sidebar: That why i love blackberry messenger. You cant tell me you didnt get that text when I see the little R right next to it LOL. Anyway, I will do anything for my friends. I have been in a really bad place at one point in my life with NO help. I have given to some of these people when I didnt have it to give. Yet, in my time of need they were nowhere to be found and full of excuses. Its like looking around and hearing the cricket sound..*cricket...*cricket. These are associates.
Now I promised myself i wouldnt use exact examples because I would normally just go to the person instead of blogging the ordeal for everyone to grab popcorn and quench a thirst. So I wont! I will leave you with this. TRUE friends grow with you, you outgrow all the others. So thank them and keep it moving. Regardless of what ill that person has wished on you or caused you. They gave you a life lesson that will enable you to recognize their type in the future.
*Kanyeshrug* - Smurf
Im about to EXPLODE!
People always ask me why I call myself Smurf. Well im 5'6 and as a kid my room was decorated with Smurfs and it was my favorite cartoon. Now when they ask what Smurl would I be I always have trouble because im a mix of a few of them. I could be Lazy Smurf, Dreamy Smurf, Vanity or Grouchy Smurf, but most of all Snappy Smurf lol. So mix all of those together and you have me. I do have my evil side though. Like I wonder if Chinese people are on the planet because God hates cats? (via @iHuntMidgets)
When I have a lot of time to think I really come up with some really good answers to my own questions. Like I ask myself things. I say "Self?"... Myself says "Huh?". I figure I will always tell me what I wana hear so we are the best of friends. With this blog I would like to take on some relationship topics as well as many things I dont agree with. I would hope that anyone reading would respect these posts as MY opinion which can be changed with the right amount of facts. Anway thats all for now. I look forward to enlightening lives as well as pissing some people off.
*KanyeShrug* - Smurf
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